Watari's Potion
by Unclear Destiny
Summary: Watari's hiding in a corner, Hisoka's hyper, Tsuzuki's rational, Konoe and Tatsumi have been watching to many WK reruns and Muraki is running around screaming. R&R pls!


Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuie, Harry Potter or Weiss Kruez.

Warning: OOCness, Muraki and hints of Shounen Ai. Also, crossover weirdness.

Muttering, Hisoka put some dirty clothes in the laundry basket and gathered some more, putting them into another basket.

Who would have known that Tsuzuki had so much clothing? Not Hisoka, who was stuck cleaning the place. For some weird reason, Konoe had made Tsuzuki go on a mission without him, so Hisoka was playing Housekeeper until his partner got back.

Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem except that it seemed Tsuzuki hadn't cleaned in years, which was impossible because Hisoka had just cleaned up a week ago when Tsuzuki was still around.

The dishes were crawling with failed cooking experiments, the TV(assuming he has one, never watched YnM) was....well, you couldn't even find the Power button it had so much dust on it. The walls were covered in random splotches of stuff and Hisoka didn't even WANT to touch the sheets much less wash them. He could have sworn that the thing had eaten a fly! Not to mention that it was soiled in white creamy stuff that looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place where he had seen it before. When Hisoka had encountered the closet, he had then discovered that the Boogey Man was real and resolved to move all of his things out of his own closet. After all, that green guy wasn't very attractive, not to mention he smelled too.

Thankfully, though, he was almost done. Re-arranging his Radiation Suit(the white ones with the funky helmets you use to remain healthy in...well, you know), he started cleaning the clothes, thanking whoever cared to listen for Washing Machines.

-Four Hours Later-

Hisoka plopped down on a now sparkling chair, exhausted. Taking off the white helmet, he looked around, feeling proud of himself. Walking into the bathroom, he washed the war-paint of his face and walked back in, numbly turning on the TV and started channel surfing. Muttering curses under his breath as the doorbell rang, he got up and answered it, only to be greeted with Watari and JuOhCho's entire Cleaning Crew.

"Hey Bon! I figured you may need some help in cleaning up Tsuzuki's place so I-whoa...."

The blond looked around in amazement at the clean walls, carpets, furniture, linoleum, windows, everything that could get dirty. He then looked at the panting Hisoka, who had tucked his helmet under his arm, was wearing a Radioactive suit and rubbing at a red streak across his cheek with a small pink face cloth.

"Bon....Hisoka...how did you do it?"

Hisoka shrugged as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted.

"Gah! Bon!"

-One Hour Later-

Twitch...twitchtwitch...groan, sit up, realize your head hurts, yelp and then flop back down, in pain.

Pretty basic things, but Hisoka had gotten them down to an art. Opening his eyes he looked around and groaned again.

"Damnit....Oh, how I Loathe thee, let me count thy ways....and my head hurts like a bitch. "

Realizing he had probably hit the floor before Watari had caught him, he silently vowed to not catch the blond scientist when he fell...wait...he never did that anyway, so he wouldn't be missing out on anything. Oh well.

Hand reaching to the bedside table, he reached for the glasses that he knew were there and sat up, putting them on....then realized he wasn't Harry Potter and that he had 20 20 vision. Cursing to himself, Hisoka tossed them to the black haired boy on the other side of the infirmary, who caught them with a sigh of relief before putting them over his own emerald eyes. Waving to Hisoka, the boy disappeared with a pop. Hisoka blinked, shrugged and faintly wondered where the hell Watari was. As if summoned(which he was) Watari came bouncing in and gave Hisoka a vial.

"Here you go, Bon! This should help with your headache."

Wondering why he wasn't just given Advil or something like that, Hisoka took it with a weird look, un-corked it and swigged the vial fluid inside. His headache was gone the minute it reached his stomach, and Hisoka blinked in surprise. Why surprise you ask? Well one, this was Watari, who had managed to blow himself up more times than all the people in JuOhCho could count on their hands and feet, his potions never, worked, it WAS a potion and it was Watari...did he mention it was Watari? Cus it was. And his stuff never worked.

Watari took out a notebook from his...well, he took it from somewhere and a pencil and bounced eagerly.

"Did it work? Diditdiditdiditdidit!?"

"Yeah Watari, it worked... Now shut up."

"Hidoiiiii! Wait....that's Tsuzuki's line...."

Suddenly Hisoka felt a tingling sensation in his feet, which quickly rushed to his head, not leaving one blood cell untouched. He then had the insatiable urge to grin manically...so he did. Watari gasped and jumped back.

"Bon! Your smiling!'

Hisoka looked at the scientist and Owl, the latter of which was hooting in confusion.

"Yessir, I am! And I feel GREAT! Wahoo!"

Jumping from the cot and doing a series of stretches, not caring that he was only in his underwear, Hisoka clapped his hands and looked around.

"Awww! Biwdy!"

Glomping 003, Hisoka cuddled the startled bird.

It was then that Tatsumi walked in.

"Ah, Hisoka, I see your....awake?!"

Tatsumi, who was in the middle of re-arranging his glasses looked on with a typical expression of WTF as he watched Hisoka huggle 003, giggling. Watari ran behind him, trembling. Coughing into a fist professionally, he turned to the cowering blond.

"What did you do to him, Watari?"

Watari looked up at him, golden eyes wide.

"I-I just g-gave him a potion-"

"You did what?"

"Gave him a potion-"

Poor Watari was cut off again as Tatsumi's eye twitched.

"You gave Hi-"

"I'm hOOoooome!"

"Tsu-chan!"

"Ah! WTF?!"

GLOMP

CRASH

2x WTF

A chibi, neko-fied Hisoka was glomping onto a wide-eyed Tsuzuki. Tail swishing happily behind him, Hisoka purred.

-S0m371m3 L83r d00d-

Hisoka sat in Tsuzuki's lap, content with the large bowl of assorted fruits in front of him. Whatever Watari gave to Hisoka, didn't help with his non-existent sweet-tooth, so Tsuzuki's stash of sweets were safe...until Konoe found them of course. Tsuzuki was glaring at Watari, Watari was huddled into a corner, Tatsumi was glaring at Watari, Watari was huddled into a corner and Konoe was glaring at Watari, who was also hiding in a corner.

In fact, almost everyone in JuOhCho was glaring at Watari, who, you guessed it, hid in a corner.

The reasons for this were unknown, they just did, which was pretty unfair, but they didn't care. Also, did I mention that I'm a poet and I know it? Cus I am, but that's not the point.

Anyways, paychecks were docked, and all hell broke loose.

-The Next Day...aint I lazy?-

Chibi Neko Hisoka and Chibi Inu Tsuzuki were eating their respective treats happily as they sat in the meeting room. It was also discovered that no, because of the potion, Hisoka did not discover the wonders of not being on time, and had woken up earlier than usual to get a large bag of assorted fruits from the store. He was also considerate and used the rest of his money to grab Tsuzuki some assorted sweets. So, they were both happy and were, for once, on time.

"People have been vanishing mysteriously and then later found dead. As you can guess, their souls did not show up in Meifu and it's up to you to find out what's been happening. Good luck, Shinigami, and rid the world of this evil so it mayn't see tomorrow."(1)

Tatsumi ejected the tape and looked at the two, who were still munching.

"Shinigami, it's your mission to stop this foe so others may live to see tomorrow. Good Day."

Handing Hisoka and envelope and both of them folders, Tatsumi left the two to their work.

-A Little Later-

"Muraki! I should have known..."

Muraki smiled in that hentai-esque way he is so famous for.

"Yes, you should have Tsuzuki-san. So tell me, will you be my lover NOW? I'm getting a little impatient awaiting your answer."

"For the last time, no!"

Tsuzuki then looked to Hisoka...or where he had been anyway. Looking at a dumpster, he then saw Hisoka poking at something. Sighing, Tsuzuki pulled the boy away from whatever it was, only to see that it was some random pop-star lying in a pool of blood. Tsuzuki shrugged and Hisoka whined.

"Awwww, but Tsu-zu-kiiiii, I wanna poke the dead pop-star!"

"No, Hisoka, now is not the time."

"Hidoiiiii!"

"Gah! Copyright infringement!

Muraki stared at his struggling Doll, shell-shocked, which looked pretty out of place on his bleached face. Deciding to do what any rationale person would do, he poked him.

Hisoka blinked, then went into neko-mode.

"RAWR!"

Staring at the boy clinging to his finger Muraki blinked. He then adjusted his tie and glasses before doing what any rational person would do.

He screamed and ran around in circles, of course!

Tsuzuki watched on, kinda like this - .. - and deigned not to do anything but stand, watch and throw pieces of paper around with funky writing on them. These hit absolutely nothing except the ground when they floated down like, well...pieces of paper!

His rational side(he HAS one of those? 00) and he dragged Neko Hisoka off the screaming Muraki before the guy bled to death. The man in White then ran away.

Tsuzuki's OTHER rational side kicked in and he wondered why he had just saved the guy. He then looked at Hisoka, who was un-nekofied and sleeping in his arms.

Everyone smile and say 'Awwwwwww!'

The two then walked of into the sunset.

Muraki was still running away.

Tatsumi was docking paychecks.

And Watari was still hiding in that corner.

One week Later

"BakaBakaBakaBaka-HENTAI!"

"Aw, but Soka-chan....! Your just so cute when you blush!"

"B-Baka!

The End

1) This is a typical scene from Weiss Kruez.

Authors Note: So, what did you think? Tell me and I'll see if my symbols work this time, ne!


End file.
